Let’s talk about Sex!

I recently read  an article by Rebekah Curtis called Contradeception on the Public Nature of Marital Privacies in the January Touchstone magazine. She is spot on regarding the nature of marriage, sex and children.

Rebekah rightfully argues that contraception has created a culture of egalitarianism and infidelity within our churches. She mentions how marriage is theologically a public institution. It becomes public in a number of ways, in fact, it becomes so public that the husband and wife become accountable with their sex life to the public. Yes, that’s right, the Church is to know your sex life; not perversely of course but ethically.

Before the modern liberal era women would be at the altar during the wedding (in modesty, unlike the naked-from-cleavage-up modern era) with a somewhat timid constitution. She knew that everyone else knew that she would be having intercourse with her new husband for the first time and would likely become pregnant within a month or two. This healthy humiliation gave her and her new husband accountability. But this is not the case in the modern era. There is now no accountability at all due to the embracing of contraception.

Before, the public (church) held married people accountable through their very support of each couple’s sexual activity. Things were obvious! If the couple was not producing “fruit of their consecration” the church would pray for them since the couple was either having bodily trouble or spiritual/relational trouble. But now, the area of sex in a couple’s life is completely off limits to the Church. It’s considered to be a private matter rather than a public matter. This has created anonymity within the Church where people are practicing sex however they please. A woman can withhold sex from her husband (or vice-versa) as a vice against him/her and no one would ever know. The woman now has the power to do this type of thing. And the man’s (and the woman’s) sexual life is also so private that he can stray into pornography and sexual affairs with ease.

Contraception has built walls around marriages. You can really no longer assume that a couple is having relation or bodily problems if they have no children because contraception is perfectly acceptable within many churches. I remember when my wife and I were a part of a very popular Evangelical group and constantly hearing how this pastor or that elder was getting a vasectomy or how one of the ladies was getting her tubes tide.

The sacrament/covenant of marriage is to build a family. This does not mean that a man and wife cannot enjoy each other. On the contrary! They should enjoy each other as much as possible, but not at the expense of what Christ commands of us: procreation.

This is what is very sad about the Evangelical church, there is no union for people that do not desire to have children. There is no vow of celibacy for them and so they feel awkward and many times depressed not knowing why they have not been given the desire or avenue for marriage.

Marriage plays a key role in society and then Church at large. If we do not draw it up to be what it actually is, then liberals and other scuzzbuckets will continue to chip us apart, one piece at a time and traditional marriage will become so diluted that it will be viewed as a complete oddity.